My life is an enigma, a formidable one, perhaps, and I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Every move I make and every thought I think is just so uncertain, I feel like I'm blindfolded and spun around (countless, countless rounds), but this isn't some kiddie game with a sack of candy at the end. No, this is the reality I'm being pushed into, where every mistake is haunting (and daunting). I'm being shoved - by my parents, my friends, my guidance counselors, my teachers - who all expect me to smack that damned "victory prize", well, honestly, how the hell am I supposed to even hit it if I have no idea where I stand?
I'm confused and it's so tantalizing.
If I could get anything, I would just ask for a peek in the future: ten years from now. I need some reassurance that everything will get better, but that isn't coming anytime soon...so I'm stuck in this present state of mind where every blink of an eye becomes a past I can never change.
Did you know our brain processes things a couple nano seconds after the thing/event/movement/thought actually occurs? So, in reality, we are always living in the past.
And I just want to get out of this cage - this past. I want to break free and see what lies ahead.
But I can't, as much and as often as I try, and it's so, so, so frustrating.
[p.s.: I entered this awesome contest. Click here and walaah!]